Why are You Happy?

Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are. It solely relies on what you think. ~ Buddha

What makes you Happy? This is a difficult question for me to answer. Why are you Happy now? At times, this is an even more difficult question for me to answer. That's because sometimes I feel happy without any valid reason. Today, I and my mom had an argument. It was about being Happy. She is a woman who has gone through too many hardships in her life. I love and respect her a lot. All her experiences and struggles have made her believe that an episode of happiness and joy in life will definitely be followed by a tragedy and hence she is afraid of being happy. But one question to all the people who believe in her theory - Do you ever think about the impending happy moments when you are in great pain/grief/sorrow and get excited about it? NO, right? Okay, I guess you have got my point.

I am a person who believes in being happy even during distress. Sorrow, pain, sickness or grief is a part of life. One or the other will definitely pay a visit now and then to make life a roller coaster ride. There is no escape from it. But what I believe is even in such a moment a person should believe in Happiness and not be afraid of it because happiness is not an object, it is a state of mind. It cannot be bought. It has to be created in our mind.

This society, through its various mediums, has trained us to link happiness to certain objects, activities, and situations. And that is the source of all these negative thoughts about happiness. Happiness is definitely not shopping, partying, watching the movie, cooking, buying expensive stuff or laughing out loud at silly jokes, marrying your loved one or even having children. These are all goodies - things that make us feel good for the moment. These are things we have been made to believe will make us happy. If these were real happiness why aren't we always Happy? Why be afraid of losing happiness? 

Real happiness is to be able to undergo a pleasant experience that will stay with you and make you feel peaceful throughout your life. It is a state of mind. It is to be at peace with oneself even in the most difficult situations. It is to look beyond these endless search for happiness. It is a bliss that you feel, a flying feel that keeps you aware of every moment. 

For me, real happiness is helping someone in need, however, small that help is and not feel great about it but feel humbled by the situation. It is again a state of mind. This we can do anytime and anywhere. What is required is the right mindset to do that. This is where the difference lies when someone says it is not right to be happy when there is a death in the family. When there is a death we grieve and it is natural. What is important is to deal with it. Not by doing shopping or watching a movie but by feeling humbled about the short life on this earth and seeing beyond materialistic pleasure the real sense of happiness. Help someone not because you are capable of, or not because someone needs it. Help because you feel like giving.

Is there a better way to convey this? Maybe there is. But I am lost for words. It is simply a state of mind. When it is that way, there is no fear of losing it to any kind of sorrow or pain. Don't link happiness to anything but to you inner self. I wish I could make it any simpler. Just stay Happy even when you have not got what you always wanted. :-)