The Withering Flower

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'She' born as the second gender, Oh!

but why is she the second gender?

Do you know?

She who played with a Barbie doll.

How did she come to choose Barbie doll and not an aeroplane?

Is it genealogy or social ideology?

She who wanted to be a superwoman like her working mother;

but why? I don't know.

Neither did anyone tell her not to be nor what to be.

And then she who was told to be careful always;

later learnt to be on alert anyway.

No, no one stalked her or attacked her,

but her cousin was stalked, her sister was teased, her friend was groped.

Her fellow second genders were molested and raped.

And she heard all their stories.

She put on a dupatta, wore longer skirts,

avoided talking loudly or laughing out,

never walked alone in the dark,

never walked alone on a deserted road,

never walked with head held high on a busy street,

never walked carefreely,

never got on a bus without being alert in all senses,

never travelled in a cab without fear,

never slept peacefully on any journey,

never felt safe alone in a deserted office,

never felt confident to raise a question,

never felt strong to put up a fight,

never learnt to be confident of her body,

never learnt to look at a mirror without worrying about her dress and looks,

never loved herself for what she was.

She learnt to hide in the shadow of her father.

She mastered the art of being cautious and never let her guard down.

Then she without a choice chose to wear the almighty Kavach that is the MangalSutra.

She never forgot her headgear - the Sindhoor.

Believing in its extraordinary powers to save her.

She became the superwoman that she was told she was.

She stood behind his success.

His shadow became her world.

She became an expert in hiding in his shadows.

She saw his dreams.

Her own dreams had died a slow death and she had no time to mourn.

Then they arrived and took up her time and energy.

She now learnt to see through their dreams.

Even after being a super woman she hid inside her Kavach and head gear.

Even when her fingers were hooked to their tiny fingers for their safety,

she found ways to adjust her dupatta.

The journey continues like a withering flower.

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"My Skin color" - The crisis of many childhood.

What is your skin colour? How much importance do you give to your own skin colour? Let me answer that question from the standing point of a Malayalee brahmin middle-class teenager that once I was. Skin colour is how I measure my beauty and how I identify myself. That much important it is for a teenager that I was. It is one of the many obnoxious parameters that this society has defined for measuring the beauty of a girl. 

To say the least, I was not even a dark skinned girl. I was, what is generally called a brown skinned Indian, a south Indian and that too a Malayalee. Therein was the problem. I did not fit into the fair and shiny skinned Malayalee girl image which was the well-known description given to her. People would not believe when I would call myself a Malayalee. I looked like a Bengali, a Marathi, a Muslim, but never a Malayalee Brahmin. So I always hesitated to show off my Brahmin identity, although I was, by the superiority bestowed upon me by my caste, immensely proud of being Brahmin. I felt ashamed that I was a dark Brahmin girl.

You might be wondering why I felt ashamed. How else would you expect me to have felt when an elderly commented: "You don't look like a Brahmin." So It was a full-scale identity crisis for me. I neither looked like a Malayalee girl nor a Brahmin girl. But I was both. Hence I felt bad about myself. I once asked my mum why she had produced me brown. I believed it was unfair on her part to have produced me dark skinned and my sister a fair skinned girl. She did her best to tell me that herself and dad loved us both equally and that I was as beautiful as my sister. But my inferiority complex never allowed me to see through the haze.

It was exactly the period when India was stepping into the bliss of the fashion industry and the "Fair & lovely" advertisement was the most popular on television. It was the period when the standards of beauty that we see today was just beginning to get defined and products like "Fair & Lovely" and "Vicco ayurvedic" cream were doing their best to set these standards. It was actually the period when India opened it's gate to globalisation. I have seen young girls and women using these creams lavishly applying it on the face along with talcum powder which would look like a white paint. The cream and powder along with the sweat were the grossest sights. These creams were very popular among the young women of Tamilnadu. Tamilians are in general dark skinned and they have always been obsessed with white skinned people. They considered white skinned people to be sophisticated and beautiful and hence there was immense fan fair for such people everywhere in the state. Starting from schools to the cinema, at every level, this obsession was clearly visible. I feel this admiration for fair skin is prevalent even today. Hence it again made me feel bad. I was not fair enough to be beautiful and to be admired.

Today when I look at the young Malini, I pity myself for having felt so bad. Today I realise that skin colour is nothing but a skin colour. It has nothing to do with what I am and what I am capable of. Skin colour has nothing to do with my identity. What matters is what kind of a person I have come to be and what talents I possess. But by the time people realise this, they would have lost their whole childhood buried in the embarrassment of something that they have no control over. How pathetic it is to burden the innocent childhood with such kinds of the wrong definition of beauty and identity. In many people, the effect is so disastrous that they live with inferiority complex throughout their life. They lose their self-confidence and live a pathetic life just because they were born with dark skin. Many people like me do grow out of this phase and learn the reality of life, but many get stuck in it and live a life of self-loath. Today I love myself and I am proud of my skin colour.

I strongly feel that products and companies that propagate wrong ideas of beauty should be banned. Every company has a responsibility towards the people that it caters to. They should be held accountable for what they provide. In this consumeristic society, it is easy for such big corporates to wash their hands off such responsibilities in the name of development and money. But young girls and boys should be brought up in such a way that they respect themselves and others irrespective of their skin colour and physical appearance in general. Fair skin is not an achievement to be proud of because it comes from genes and you have no control over it. Benefits bestowed by birth can never make a person superior. We as a society should start gauging and respecting a personality not based on physical appearance or on monetary achievements but on his/her character, humanity and how they contribute to the society. Every person should be proud about their skin colour. It is what nature has given to you and you should cherish it. You should love yourself no matter how others treat you. This confidence should be given to our next generation.

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Plastic - The boon that is a bane

I read a news today which was shocking, at the same time very painful. A veterinary doctor performed a surgery on a cow and removed around 98 Kg of plastic and other deadly waste from its stomach. The waste included nails, screws, wire, socks and clothes along with lots of plastic covers. The cow was in immense pain and was unable to walk when it was brought in. This news disturbed me a lot. What are we humans doing to this earth? What has happened to us? Why have we become so insensitive? Why have we become so selfish? All these questions started boiling inside my head.

Plastic is the most useful, but the most dangerous substance as it is not bio-degradable. Hence when it is disposed of in the open it just keeps piling up and they stay, maybe forever. It just does not biodegrade. We use plastic for everything. From bags for carrying stuff to plastic boxes for storing things at home, from a small clip to big electronics everything is made of plastic. None of these is bio-degradable. Hence every bit of it has to be collected and treated specially. This is a costly as well as a time-consuming process. It has to be a systematic process. Hence plastic just piles up everywhere, on the roads, fields, in the forests, in the river and also in the sea. Everywhere they just live forever polluting this planet. Some people do try to dispose of it by burning it, but that too is a risky thing to do as the fumes pollute the air and breathing it for a longer time can cause severe illness in humans.

The most affected by this use of plastics are the animals. They are not aware of this substance and when we throw food waste and other things in plastic bags, animals like cows gobble them up thinking it is some kind of food. This plastic it just stays inside their system. Neither does it get digested nor does it get excreted. It just stays. Imagine a plastic bag stuck in your stomach for 2 days. It is shuddering. But these poor things don't know what they have swallowed. They don't know what is the problem with their stomach. Perhaps it just pains and they have to live with it until one day they collapse. Does it sound sad? To me, it sounds horrible. It makes me hate people who produce plastic, it makes me hate people who use it so carelessly. It makes me hate all those who either don't know what they are doing or who intentionally do it. It is so selfish of us to think only about us.

Plastic has been banned in many places most recently in Bangalore where there was a blanket ban. There are strict rules in the country which say plastic below 50 microns should not be manufactured. But how strictly these rules get implemented is a big question. None of the citizens who use plastics has any idea where the discarded plastic items go. We never bother to think where all the plastic waste is taken and what is done with them. We complain about clogged sewage and water logging but we turn a blind eye to the fact that it mostly the plastic bags that we discard which is the cause of this problem. They are so light that they just fly around in the air and land up anywhere. They are not only sour to eyes but also very dangerous pollutants.

The manufacturers seem to have no accountability what so ever in this matter. They manufacture it in mass and earn huge profits. But aren't they accountable too? In the case of plastic bags I understand, it is difficult. Because they have to be collected in bulk and recycled or else it is cumbersome work. In that case, the citizens have to be educated on the ill effects of using plastic bags. They should be educated on how to recycle it and also government/outsourced organisations should set up collection centres in towns where people can bring in collected plastic bags and give it for recycling. The manufacturers should pay some amount to the government for recycling purpose which the government can use in setting up collection points and recycling units. It is the responsibility of each person to leave this world a better place for the future generation. Steps should be taken to educate the uneducated and also to provide them with affordable eco-friendly alternatives to plastic bags.

Right now we are in a period where the life of holy cows are much dear and precious than human lives. But even among all this drama, the real pain of these animals go unseen and unheard of. There are no Gau-rakshas who can save these animals from this kind of silent cruelty. It is a great irony that the same people who kill humans for slaughtering cows cannot make any arrangements for making these animals eat safely. So much of hypocrisy in the name of politics and development.

We cannot completely avoid plastics but we need to learn to use them responsibly and as a system, define steps and actions to process them.

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Bigger picture of The Sabarimala issue

Seriously I am tired of listening to a bunch of people arguing over few hashtags like "#ready to wait" and "#RightToPray". I deliberately took time out to watch Arnab Goswami's show on Times now which I had stopped watching a long time ago due to the futility of the show and especially the high decibel arguments out of which nothing comes out except Arnab's intolerant and irritating noise and is a stage to show off his macho ego.  But this time, I wanted to watch his debate because I heard he was supporting a certain side which I never expected him to do considering his political and ideological leanings.

Well, as usual, the whole debate was a showdown. Foremost there was complete chaos which I am yet to come to terms with even after watching his shows and getting frustrated a hundred times. Secondly, the "#ReadyToWait" side was too poorly equipped with counter points to justify their stand. Knowing the kind of show and debate they were going to be part of I expected them to be more prepared to argue with the likes of Arnab and well-informed activists on the opposite side. In between all this one thing always surprises me that in a show where Arnab is supposed to be a facilitator and stay neutral, he comfortably takes a side and smashes the enemies with his non-stop questions. I could smell something fishy here.

For the uninitiated, let me explain the topic of debate a little bit. "Sabarimala" is a Hindu pilgrimage centre located in Kerala which is visited by millions of devotees from all over India who come every year after a 41 days penance which includes strict fasting and continence. This is one temple where people from all religions are allowed to visit. But there is one custom here which restricts entry for women between the age of 10 and 50. This is as per the Kerala high court ruling in 1991 stating the age old custom of the temple. Now the Supreme court of India has taken a petition contesting the judgement by the High court preventing entry of women of certain age. And the verdict is expected very soon which has given way to this intense debate on every type of media. While the women's rights activists are vying for the right to pray for women of all age citing equality for all citizens, a group of women and devotees who are against this have come up with a campaign "#Ready to Wait". These are the 2 groups who were involved in the debate on the above show.

Though the argument of the devotees who take shelter behind the so-called belief and custom may sound fair enough, I believe that women should never be restricted from entering a temple just because they are women. Whatever arguments be put forth, the reality remains that it is misogynous to restrict women in the name of beliefs and customs. Would the god who we believe created everyone advice such practices? There was a time when we practised outrageous things in the name of custom and ritual like Sati, monogamy and child marriages. With time and struggle of many, we were able to break away from such practices and make them strictly punishable. We should be able to break out of this practice also. Those who want to wait can wait. No one is forcing them to go. But if there is even one young woman who wants to visit the temple and worship Lord Ayyappa, she should not be stopped because of her age. If custom is so strictly to be followed then let me ask how many men who visit the temple take the complete 41 days of penance? Citing practical reasons and today's living style there is a short form of the penance which is followed by men. When these things can change with time why not other aspects too?

My point here is something beyond all this discussion. A detailed discussion as above was required so that even I could look at this issue from a third perspective. Why would someone whose ideology has been leaning to the right in all other cases try to speak for and take sides with the activists and supporters fighting for equality? This is where I suspect there is some bigger conspiracy being played behind the scenes. The right wing people have always been irritated by the point that only Hindu religion is targeted and questioned by activists. They always counter every argument by raising one question that why these people never question the practices of other communities. By supporting the "RightToPray" group today, I feel there is a possibility for the same person to conduct another debate at another time to instigate the right against such people by raising the same question which would by them have taken the form of a hatred in the minds of righties. This could lead to bigger problem considering the volatile times we are living in. Maybe there is a need to look at the whole issue from a much wider perspective by everyone.

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Raise Your Voice

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There is so much to protest and fight for and so much to question, but where are all the affected???

India is the world's largest democracy and we did not become one overnight. Thousands struggled and lost their lives on the way to achieve this freedom that we are enjoying today. In each struggle, lives were lost and lessons learnt. The one thing that kept the struggle going was the active participation of people. The history of Indian struggle for independence is a lesson to many but equally forgotten by many. There is callous disregard for all the sacrifice as it remains just in the history books. But my topic is not about the struggles and protests that our forefathers put forward. My topic today is about the fights and protests that we are not doing today. It is what we have become as a society.

As I said in the opening, we are all affected by so many small to major devious issues in the society but we have learnt to live with it. Isn't it close enough a crime, not to raise a question/protest against evil in a society which has seen great inspiring fighters? Isn't it a deadly crime to stay passive to all the injustice happening? Isn't it a sin to stay passive to the sufferings and struggles of our own kind? Let me explain in detail the concern that is eating my mind.

A petty shopkeeper sells things at a cost higher than the MRP but we never question him. Road rules are flouted by everyone and no one questions it. People throw waste on the road and make the place unlivable but we never question people who do it. The roads are always in a bad condition which leads to heavy traffic blocks but we have no time to question the authorities. The schools charge exorbitant fees and make education a business making it inaccessible to millions of poor kids but who cares? Officials ask for a bribe to do their job but we never question them as long as our work gets done. There are so many criminal and corrupt politicians in each political party but we still keep voting for them and bring them to power. We have no time to question them or protest against them. Women and children are molested, abused and raped everywhere in public and in private but we turn a blind eye towards it. There is a person on the road bleeding to death, but we have no time to help. The list is so long that I may need two more articles to list them. These are just few which keep eating my brain. These are smaller issues compared to the bigger scale issues that are plaguing the country.

We know there is wrong happening. We know that it is wrong to do certain things. We know that there are people suffering. Or have we become a robot or zombie to a level that we cannot even relate to human emotions? I believe, we have not yet reached such an abysmal situation. If we have an even little amount of humanity left in us, shouldn't we react? Shouldn't we feel frustrated and start protesting against the injustice, the rampant misgovernance and misuse of power?

Though the answer is a YES, we never say it. We are too engrossed in setting up a comfortable living sometimes even scrambling through the day without any aspirations that we have no time for such aroused sensitivity. We feel safe in the comfort of our home and office and imagine that we are living in a safe environment. We do not want to run the risk of getting into any kind of issue that does not affect us directly. Even if certain things affect us directly it is easier for us to just leave it unseen rather than stand up and question or protest.

The reality is we are selfish. I agree some are helpless. There are few who don't have the resource to question or are powerless to stand up and ask. There are few who are ignorant about their own rights and hence are doomed to live in fear. But what about people who are educated and who have access to the resources to eliminate the ignorance? How many of us are even aware of our rights as a citizen of this country? We never feel it is important to know our rights. We consider it a waste of time.

What I have understood from the news that is coming out every day is that it is high time we stand up and fight for our rights, fight against the injustice and misgovernance. It is high time we become active in the daily politics. It is high time we as citizens of this country start joining hands and stay together and gather power. Various kinds of powers are starting to take control of our lives through all indirect ways. If we don't become active, we are bound to get into another kind of slavery which unlike the British will be from within this country. We need to start from our daily issues. We should raise our voice against every evil, start questioning every wrongdoer. I know it is difficult. But as citizens, it is our responsibility. For that being aware of our rights is the first step. I hope more people become aware and stand up for their rights and also for fellow citizens. We cannot remain passive.

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Truly and Fabulously Feminist

Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing. ~ Arundhati Roy

What is Feminism?

Feminism is the movement which fights for equal rights of a woman as a man. Since we live in a patriarchal society, fight for equal rights for women in every aspect has been gaining momentum. From surviving the female infanticide to living a life of choice the female population in this world faces discrimination and oppression at every stage. Feminism fights against each of this discrimination and strives to get women equal rights.

Feminism is for all

When we fight for feminism we always talk about women empowerment. We talk about educating girls there by making them socially, economically and emotionally independent. But we forget the fact that men also need feminism. As Nigerian novelist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie stressed in her speech at the TED Talk, even men need feminism. How many of you have heard someone telling a boy "Be brave, don't cry like a girl"/"Only girls cry, boys don't cry" ? Most of us would have heard someone using such statements to a boy. By saying so we are bringing up the boy with a mentality that it is a shame to cry and such shameful activities are done only by a girl. The boy feels ashamed if he cries, whereas in reality crying is as natural an expression of feelings like laughing or getting angry.

My own definition of a feminist is a man or a woman who says, yes there is a problem with gender as it is today and we must fix it, we must do better. All of us, women and men, must do better. ~ Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Hence a boy has to be a feminist as equally as a girl is. He needs to understand that it is not a shame to cry. He needs to understand a woman is not born to cry and that she need not be protected always. She needs support like he needs at any point in his life. She needs respect the same way he needs. She deserves to stand up same as his entitlement. By not doing this we are putting pressure on men to behave in a certain way like we do to women. When making women strong and self-sufficient we also need to teach our men to respect such or any kind of women and not feel threatened by a woman. We need to teach both men and women to be a good human being. A person should be able to be true to his/her self-innate nature and not bound by the difference of gender that a society advocates. A weak man is as much a man as a strong man is. This way we liberate him of his insecurities and make him more sensitive to issues around him rather than concentrating on his ego.

A Feminist is anyone who recognises the equality and full humanity of women and men. ~ Gloria Steinem

Feminism Vs Egalitarianism

Many people feel ashamed to call themselves a feminist even if they believe in equality. They are afraid of being looked at as a man-hater, a problem creator, a rude and harsh woman which is completely against the common traits expected out of a woman. They are afraid of offending men and all those people who impose the belief that women are supposed to be submissive and the epitome of sacrifice. Hence they take refuge in a much neutral and pleasant term "Egalitarianism".

Every kind of discrimination is wrong. Feminism is different from egalitarianism by the way that egalitarianism treats every person the same no matter what their social, economic and cultural background is. This is theoretically good but practically not workable. Every person/group needs different level and type of empowerment to reach the equal level. In that perspective, feminism looks at the gender- related issues which affect women and works on those issues to resolve them. Similarly, there are activists who work against various kinds of discrimination which is much more specific and fruitful than the general egalitarianism.

Be a Proud Feminist

There is nothing wrong in being a feminist. There is nothing hateful about being a feminist. A true feminist is not a man-hater in general. But a feminist reacts when a woman is treated lower than a man. A feminist questions and fights any system that advocates gender discrimination in any form. Feminism is nothing but realising that women are human beings too and that they are entitled to every natural and man-made resource on this planet as much as a man. In fact, every woman should be proud to call herself a feminist.

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Unique, not Different

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Every topic I write here has an inspiration. I believe it to be the same with almost all writers. Certain incidents arouse a strong feeling to write. Today I read a story about a girl and her differently-abled brother in a website. It was a touching story and it brought about a flush of thoughts into me. 

The way we treat every different person. We as a society have defined a particular way to look at and judge a person. It has been invisibly taught to us by our parents, teachers, friends and the people around us. The first thing we do when we meet a person is, try to know as much about him/her as possible even if the meeting is just a casual one and the chances of meeting that person again are bleak. But we ask all sorts of questions and through their answers, we build an image of that person and then compare that image to the image that is imbibed in our computer brain and check if they fit that image. If they don't then we get uncomfortable. 

We cannot accept anything that we cannot understand. That is the crux of the whole problem. We want to understand everything. We like to believe that we can understand everything. We understand that there are man and woman. We understand that a man behaves in a certain way and a woman behaves in a certain way. We understand when they each dress in a certain way. We understand that they get educated. We understand that they do the job and earn. We understand that a man and woman fall in love and get married (or) get married and then fall in love. We understand that a man and woman have children biologically. We understand that they build a house. We also understand that they are civilised, well-behaved, well earning and well settled. These are what we understand. This is what we have seen from our childhood. This is what has been happening for ages since this world was created.

What we do not understand is that a human being need not always be a man or a woman. What we don't understand is that a man need not always behave like we know him to be and a woman need not always be like we know her to be. We do not understand that a man need not dress always like we know him and a woman need not always dress the way we know her. We do not understand that all human beings are not the same. A man need not always fall in love with a woman and a woman need not always fall in love with a man. Not all human beings have the same abilities. Not all like the same things. Not all can understand the same rules. We don't understand that some human beings are born differently. Some cannot walk, some cannot talk, some cannot see. We do not understand that some human beings cannot think, like others. Some do not have the abilities like others. 

As I said we are afraid of what we do not understand, and hence, we are afraid of all those human beings and their abilities which we do not understand. And when we are afraid what do we do ? We stay away from them, we avoid them, we curse them, we hate them and sometimes we try to harm them. Just because we cannot understand their existence referring to an image that we have created about a human.

A human being is just a human being with or without hands/legs/eyes/nose/skin/face. Human is a human whether it is a man/woman/straight/lesbian/gay/Bi-sexual/Transgender/Queer. Like you were born with a head, 2 hands, 2 legs, a brain that thinks in a particular way, a body that appears in a particular way, ability to talk, laugh, cry, think, analyse, somebody else is born with 1 leg/2 heads/4 hands/hollow eyes/ability not to think, ability not to laugh, ability not to understand, ability not to analyse. That person is a human being too. Simple. We are all made from the same atom - just the formations and permutations and combinations are different. We are all created by the same God who you believe created this whole universe - just that he created you with a specific structure and created the other in a different structure.

It is inhuman to sideline them, ostracise them, insult them or torture them just because they don't fit into the common mould. Every living thing has the same amount of right to live in this world. Accept each one a unique creation/formation. No one person is same as the other. What we need to learn is to accept the uniqueness and stop trying to fit everyone into the image that we know of. Stop calling them different. Just call them by their name and nothing else. Just address them by their name and nothing else. Respect them for what they are because they are unique like you. If you can help, do it, else just leave it. Is it so difficult?

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WED - What we can do

Yesterday was "WORLD ENVIRONMENT DAY". This has been trending in the social media. My recent interest in social, political and economic news prompted me to google the significance of this day. As a matter of fact, till this year, this special day has never grabbed my attention. Thanks to my active lingering on social media, I got to read some inspiring posts about the deteriorating status of the environment. I was taken aback by the awareness that the social media has been able to generate among the general public about the importance of a healthy environment. While it feels good to see some serious discussions about the environment, there are some things that go unnoticed.

Planting trees has become a rage among people. This is great as forests are a great wealth to the well being of our environment. Trees control temperature, help in purifying air, play an important role in holding the wealth of the soil, contribute to increasing the water bed of the soil and so on. But does planting trees alone make us an environment friendly person? There are few other small but significant practices that we follow which has contributed to the deterioration of the environment all through the years.

The most important environmental issue is one that is rarely mentioned, and that is the lack of a conservation ethic in our culture. – Gaylord Nelson, former U.S. Senator

Uncontrolled use of Vehicles:

On one side we speak about preserving the environment and on the other side people go about buying cars and other vehicles without any control. It is not a new information that air pollution is one big factor for global warming. The exhaust from vehicles is increasing at an alarming rate. In a larger picture the pollution caused by vehicles may seem very small, but over a period of time this keeps increasing and blot starts looking bigger than we thought. As of 2009 India was the third largest emitter of carbon dioxide after China and the United States. And 9% of India's emission were from transportation. 9% may seem small but this can be reduced by taking some serious measures. Controlling number of vehicles per family, making car pooling compulsory (On Chennai roads 80% of the cars that ply between 8 AM to 11 Am has a single passenger - this is my data) , phasing out old vehicles, ban inferior technologies and diesel, impose heavy duties/taxes to curb huge number of vehicles, improving public transport. These measures can control this type of pollution.

Unscrupulous construction:

This is indeed a direct contributor to environmental destruction. People have this thought that only big dams or factories have adverse effect on the environment, which is not correct. Though these biggies contribute a largely, we individuals are contributing our bit by buying/building houses on reclaimed farm lands, water bodies, environmentally important marshlands etc. And how many of us own more than one house? This is a question we need to ask ourselves. A house is made of sand which is mined from river beds, bricks that are made from soil, cement whose production and consumption is a bane to this earth, steel which is again mined and which in turn has contributed to huge destruction of forests and killing its inhabitants, Wood - yes this directly points to the trees cut. So as the number of houses to build or buy increases, your contribution to environmental destruction directly shoots up. Oh, how much is 2 or 3 of my houses going to destroy nature? Let me tell you , that destruction is not calculated on a one to one basis, it is always exponential. 

Consumerism:

We have become a consumerist crowd. We like to indulge in all the latest technologies,pamper ourselves with the most expensive items one can buy. The consumerist culture has made us buy things that we don't want or never use and also to buy more than we want. Mobile phones, Television, Refrigerator, Laptops, Air coolers - all these we buy and keep changing models every year to satiate our indulging self. But what happens to all the items that we discard? Where do all these items go? Do we have any idea the kind of damage that e-waste is doing to the earth. I would request each one to read a little about it. Then comes eating food - oh yes we love to order food more than we need and we waste it just because we can afford it, no matter it is meat or vegetables - we don't know or don't care for the fact the food we eat also contributes to deforestation and greater emissions. It is all linked. Forests across the world are being destroyed so that they can be converted into grazing land for animals so that we can eat more meat which in turn is ultimately going to make us live a unhealthy life. How sad that we can't see this. Deforestation kills the natural habitat of wild animals and will lead to many more extinct species on this earth.

Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed. – Mahatma Gandhi, Father of India.

These are small things that as individuals we can be aware of in our life. Does this mean we should live a pathetic life without any facilities or advancements ? No, it just means that we need to live a simpler life. Buy/Use only what we really need. Why is it so difficult? What is needed is awareness of what we are doing and little bit of determination.

The theme of this year's World Environment Day is "Zero tolerance for the illegal Wildlife trade". For many of us this earth and its resources were created for the usage of mankind. We don't consider animals and plants a part of it. But when we trade these flora and fauna for money and better sophistication we forget that they are not dependent on us, we are dependent on them. If animals go extinct it will disturb the food chain and the impacts can be terrible for the man kind. This is as simple as i can say it. If Bees go extinct, we will all start scrambling for food. And as per studies bees are disappearing faster than we can imagine. We should start taking environment much seriously. It is the duty of each homo sapien to leave this earth a better place for the future generation. 

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Educate, Equip, Elevate every Girl

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There is something i want to tell myself - I am a feminist. But not the type who jumps into all issues related to woman without trying to understand or study the details of the issue. I believe in equality in every aspect of life: political, economical and social. I believe education is a must for every girl child. Freedom to move around, mingle with people and learn from experiences is also a very important aspect for the growth of a girl into a strong and independent woman. I also believe that a girl should be brought up with conviction to take any decision without fear and guilt. She should also be given the strength to live by her decision and change it whenever she wants.

When i beleive in all these, i also have to acknowledge the fact that it is not easy and it is not going to happen over night. It will take years for something as basic as education, which we take for granted to reach some girls in our country. There are many girls for whom school is a dream.

Every girl is born into a unique environment. The environment consists of her family, neighbours,community, religion, geography of her location, economy of her community, so forth and so on. Every aspect plays an important part in shaping her as a person. No common rule is going to be suitable for the whole girl child population of a country. Because the effect they are going to have on a child will also vary according to her environment and the impact of her environment. This has to be accepted. The environment and needs of a girl born in a remote village of Rajasthan is not the same as a girl born in Mumbai or a girl born in Delhi or even in a remote village of Tamilnadu or Kerala.

But one fact can never be denied, that education can create a common platform for all the girls from various background, religion and communities to mingle with each other, learn and share. This is the first step to growth that many like me dream about. Education might not give them complete freedom like we dream, as most of the girls are bound by the rules of the family, community and religion, but it definitely empowers them to think differently and fight for a change. That is the need of the hour. Education is the window to the world. For some girls it might open the gates to great opportunities, but to many it will be a weapon to fight against oppression at the basic level like their home. Quality education can equip them to question baseless practices and norms in a society with confidence. Knowledge is powerful as it raises voice against beliefs. Education also gives strength to women to organize, take control and lead. Education has the capacity to liberate a woman socially and economically.

To achieve this i believe education has to be made holistic. Education should be designed in such a way that it fosters good reading skills. Along with a curriculum, it should provide them an opportunity to read works of great authors. As part of education, every school should be provided with a good library which should be well stocked. Also every school should have an active forum where these girls can read, discuss, analyse and debate about various topics. Making education compulsory till higher secondary level for girls is a must if the government has a strong opinion about changing the lives of girls in our country. Public education system should provide for the education of girls till higher secondary. It also should provide enabling facilities like time to time counselling and guidance to girls in schools which will help them deal with the stigma they face regarding various issues in their day to day life. I understand it is difficult for a government to counsel each parent in this country, hence it is imperative that strict action be taken against parents who do not send their girls to schools. Also by giving free education to girls till their higher secondary, a great burden it alleviated from the shoulders of parents who are poor and cannot afford to send their kids to schools.

Girls should grow into woman of substance. In a patriarchal society like ours education is the only key that can slowly liberate women from the deep rooted dogma. If men need to be educated on how to respect a woman, women need education so that they will start respecting themselves and will start questioning boundaries with the backup of a strong ideology.

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To A Mother - For What She is Not

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Mother - Personification of Love, Sacrifice and Selflessness. Wow! how wonderful it is to see these words on a face book post that a mother is never going to see or on a twitter message that she will never even learn to open.  I fail to understand why people do this on face book or twitter.

I did not call my mother to wish her on this day neither did i post a message on social media to prove my love for her to the world. Even if i don't call out to her on this day she knows that i love her. I don't care if anyone knows about the kind of relationship i share with her.

I want to dedicate this post to her and to so many like her, for what she is not today, because she is a human being first, a woman next and lastly a mother. How can i forget that?

She is not a singer she wanted to be - because of my strict grandfather  and the orthodox culture of the family then.
She is not a dancer she wanted to be - because of again my strict grandfather and the orthodox culture of the family then.
She is not a degree holder that she wanted to be - because of she had to finish the kitchen cores even when she was 15 years old and educating women was the last priority in the family.
She is not a teacher she wanted to be - Because my father wanted her to stay at home after marriage.
She is not a professional tailor that she wanted to be - Because she got busy with being a good homemaker soon after marriage.
She is not a financially independent woman that she wanted to be - Because she always cared for our financial independence and never gave time for herself.
She is not someone who has gone beyond South India - Though my father was working abroad she chose to stay here with us in order to not disturb our education.
She is not someone who lived in the physical security of her husband - She decided to stay away from his security so that we would have a secure future.

She is not so many things she wanted to be. She could not do so many things she wanted to do. I respect her for all that she is not.

This is the case with crores of women in this country. They are not so many things they wanted to be. But who bothers about what she wanted to be when she is a mother - the ultimate achievement. We make motherhood her greatest achievement when she could have achieved so much more along with being a mother. This is a socially accepted justification that we impose on her to hide the injustice meted upon her gender.

Motherhood is great. But when that becomes the identity of a woman rather than it being a choice, it becomes a emotional burden. I think we should learn to look at her as a human being first and then a mother. Because, the moment she becomes a mother all her other achievements take a back seat and she is morally and emotionally forced to prove her motherliness through sacrifices and selflessness. 

Let's not make motherhood a burden rather let us make it a enjoyable experience for every woman. I wish every mother gets to celebrate her achievements without guilt.

Happy Mother's day.

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Forgotten reality

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What is the use of a faith or a religion or a community which looks down at another? What is a human who looks down at another? What is humanity which turns away from the pain of another?

When faith overpowers rational thinking, when religion overpowers humanity and when power overpowers justice even the struggles of a common man to survive becomes punitive and the voice of equality becomes a crime.

When each and everyone understands the reality that earth cannot survive long on chants and blood but only on sustainable earthly principles and practices, life will be a realistic happy journey.

Happiness does not come from the ability to buy, overpower,punish,silence or threaten. It only comes from the realization that earth and its richness are perishable - every one of them, and conserving it and living in harmony will keep this earth alive.

Those who are not bothered about the future of this earth and its lives better don’t produce a family so that they don’t suffer the wrath of your ignorance, impudence, and arrogance. Because faith will not help them survive the slow death that ailing nature will bring upon them.

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Destructive apathy

When someone helps us, we feel thankful and also obliged to do something in return sometime. This is taught to us and it helps in fostering good relationships. But does this rule apply only to human relationships? This also applies to our relationship with nature isn’t it?

Yesterday when i was traveling to office, i saw a lady. A decently dressed female in her early thirties. I was waiting in the railway station for my train to come. She came by and sat next to me on the bench i was sitting. Immediately after sitting she took out a small paper wrap from her bag. It contained those boiled peanuts with their shells on. As i watched she started pealing off the shell and eating those peanuts. And then shamelessly kept on dropping off the shells on the platform where she was sitting. I felt very irritated to see her do this. She was least bothered that she was actually treating the platform like a dustbin. I looked at her in disgust. She returned my looks with a blank stare. I felt like getting up and shaking her wildly and asking her how she could be so careless and stupid about her surroundings. But i did not do anything.

My train arrived. I boarded it and found a seat for myself. A lady, almost of my age was sitting opposite to me. I guessed she should be working in one of the IT companies which adorns the route to my destination. After the train left the station, she took out a plastic cover from her bag. There was boiled corn stick in it. She started eating the corn. I did not pay attention and continued chatting with my friend on my phone. Once she finished eating,she just threw that plastic cover along with the corn stick on to the railway track. I was irritated for the second time in the same day. I seriously was very angry and actually looked at her with frowning face. She looked back at me with a questioning look and turned her face away from me.

I know, these are scenes that we see on a day to day basis. People throwing garbage bags full of garbage on the road. Men peeing on the road side. People spitting on the road as others walk by them. People throwing plastic covers on to the road just like into a dustbin. House holds and factories emptying their industrial and house hold waste and filth into river. Big vehicles polluting the air with smoke and dangerous gases. Big corporations cutting off forests in mass in the name of development. From individuals to corporate everyone abusing nature and its resources in every way possible.

These two small incidents made me think about all this. How can people be so ignorant about all this? Then i realized, lack of awareness is one part of the issue. This could be solved to an extent through proper education and extensive campaigns. But the other part of the problem is terrifying. “Complacence”. When educated people do these activities without any second thought or even a pinch of regret, how can we not worry about the impending disaster on this earth. The very thought ranging from “why should i do it” , “This is not my job to worry” to “Nothing will happen to this earth because i drop one plastic cover on the road”. I have even heard people say, “Technology is making leaps and bounds. Scientists will find another planet to live if this one becomes unlivable. Till i live nothing major will happen to this earth”. But we forget, nature is beyond any science. There is only so much science and technology can do, but there is so much as human beings we can do. Moreover even if we find another suitable planet to migrate to and technology grows to facilitate the migration process, i don’t believe that any common man will be ever be able to afford the migration cost.

Do we like to live among filth? When we complain so much about the filthy environment around us, we conveniently forget the fact that we are the ones who created this kind of an environment. If not directly, through our silence.

This earth has been giving us resources for so many years. Let it be water, soil and air. These are things we cannot do without. We cannot live without any of this. But these are all perishable resources. When we abuse them by misusing or over using them remember, once they perish we can never get it back. We cannot manufacture water or soil or air. Let us give some respect to the mother earth by making sensible use of her resources. When we take so much from her at-least give her back a little bit of consideration for the sake of mankind.

She may not yell at us for mistreating her. But she will definitely give up one day and that day our great great grandchildren may have nowhere to go and will fight and die over a drop of water or a bite of food. If we don’t care for our future generation, then why do we reproduce???

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