Why are You Happy?

Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are. It solely relies on what you think. ~ Buddha

What makes you Happy? This is a difficult question for me to answer. Why are you Happy now? At times, this is an even more difficult question for me to answer. That's because sometimes I feel happy without any valid reason. Today, I and my mom had an argument. It was about being Happy. She is a woman who has gone through too many hardships in her life. I love and respect her a lot. All her experiences and struggles have made her believe that an episode of happiness and joy in life will definitely be followed by a tragedy and hence she is afraid of being happy. But one question to all the people who believe in her theory - Do you ever think about the impending happy moments when you are in great pain/grief/sorrow and get excited about it? NO, right? Okay, I guess you have got my point.

I am a person who believes in being happy even during distress. Sorrow, pain, sickness or grief is a part of life. One or the other will definitely pay a visit now and then to make life a roller coaster ride. There is no escape from it. But what I believe is even in such a moment a person should believe in Happiness and not be afraid of it because happiness is not an object, it is a state of mind. It cannot be bought. It has to be created in our mind.

This society, through its various mediums, has trained us to link happiness to certain objects, activities, and situations. And that is the source of all these negative thoughts about happiness. Happiness is definitely not shopping, partying, watching the movie, cooking, buying expensive stuff or laughing out loud at silly jokes, marrying your loved one or even having children. These are all goodies - things that make us feel good for the moment. These are things we have been made to believe will make us happy. If these were real happiness why aren't we always Happy? Why be afraid of losing happiness? 

Real happiness is to be able to undergo a pleasant experience that will stay with you and make you feel peaceful throughout your life. It is a state of mind. It is to be at peace with oneself even in the most difficult situations. It is to look beyond these endless search for happiness. It is a bliss that you feel, a flying feel that keeps you aware of every moment. 

For me, real happiness is helping someone in need, however, small that help is and not feel great about it but feel humbled by the situation. It is again a state of mind. This we can do anytime and anywhere. What is required is the right mindset to do that. This is where the difference lies when someone says it is not right to be happy when there is a death in the family. When there is a death we grieve and it is natural. What is important is to deal with it. Not by doing shopping or watching a movie but by feeling humbled about the short life on this earth and seeing beyond materialistic pleasure the real sense of happiness. Help someone not because you are capable of, or not because someone needs it. Help because you feel like giving.

Is there a better way to convey this? Maybe there is. But I am lost for words. It is simply a state of mind. When it is that way, there is no fear of losing it to any kind of sorrow or pain. Don't link happiness to anything but to you inner self. I wish I could make it any simpler. Just stay Happy even when you have not got what you always wanted. :-)

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Picturesque Highway

Watching the Hindi movie "Highway". How I wish I could travel like the characters in the movie. Be care free like the character of Alia bhat "Veera" in the movie in spite of all the challenges she had to face through the journey.Travel the paths of life without worrying about the destination, just enjoying the journey. Take life in its stride without worrying about the uncertain future. Be myself, without having to be approved by so many people around. Not having to worry about being judged on my life and my living.

We do so many things every day. Every day, every moment is a new one - philosophically. When I talk so much about these kind of stuffs, you might be wondering whether I believe in what i say - all this philosophy about life and living the moment. Well, I am just starting to believe myself. I have come to realize that believing my own instincts is much safer and satisfying than taking to others opinions. One less norm breaking person is not going to do any harm to this society. Well I agree buying a house and a car and marrying and having kids is good but not the most important thing in my life. If these things can happen as a by product of my day to day happiness then I will be thrilled as others would want me to be.

Ultimately as we always hear, life is too short for regrets. One day suddenly i may die. What is the use of struggling everyday now for attaining 'the position' in this society, the same society which will not even bother to look for me once I am gone. Who really cares for me? All my answers have been reasons to feel better or just a reassurance about what i have believed for so many years. No one will leave this world along with me. Life will continue as it was - minus Malini. No, my grandchildren will not remember my name because i bought a house and a car and they definitely will not miss me.

In my struggle to prove my worth I had forgotten what I really wanted. I had forgotten that I can enjoy the silliest of things in this world. I had forgotten that I enjoy singing, I enjoy eating good food, I enjoy riding my scooty, I enjoy talking, I enjoy looking up to the sky and dreaming, I enjoy reading, I enjoy writing, I enjoy dancing, I enjoy just lying down and doing nothing, I enjoy being a good friend to someone, I enjoy stupid jokes, I enjoy traveling, I enjoy being there for someone when they really need me, I enjoy talking about everything in this world even when I know nothing about it. I enjoy so many things. I had forgotten. This is what I am. How can I forget these and be myself?

A highway of life with its ups and downs but lots of memories that i can carry lightly. This world is large enough that I can find a place for myself. A place where I need not pretend to be someone I am not. A place where I can be happy as I am. Facing the challenges that life will throw at me with my conviction and courage. The end of my journey will be in that place doing my best.

I can go on writing about this topic. It is so so amazing to think about all that i have written. One moment thoughts seem to be flowing out of control and another moment everything is so tranquil. Exhilarating and tiring at the same time. How i wish i could put every signal, every image of my mind as words and phrases here. That's ok. I can feel it and some of it i have been able to transfer here.

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Tears of Blessing

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What is a blessing? How do you count your blessings? I have never thought about these things before. I suppose when you do a good deed you will be blessed. That is the simplest and easiest definition my mind can find out now. I would like to believe that the size of the deed does not matter. But ultimately the word blessing does bring a sense of satisfaction and happiness in my mind. The very thought that someone might be wishing you good is a pleasant feeling. But there are rarely times when people bless you aloud out of gratification and love. I guess the only response to such a blessing could be a drop of tear in your eyes.

My eyes were moist today by the end of the telephone conversation. On the other side of the call was an old woman pouring words of blessings and love on me. She called me “an angel”, “darling”, “daughter” and so on. Now you know why my eyes welled. And what did I do to be so much blessed? I attended to that lady when she was sick and hospitalized. It was not the greatest deed according to me. It was a good one, though. She was seriously sick and her daughter (my friend and colleague in office) was struggling between her home, hospital and office. I just offered to help my friend by filling in a gap of the time she could not be there in the hospital for 2 days. And what did I get back, loads and loads of love from her mother? I was sincerely touched and moved by her words. I could do nothing but smile at her praise. But at this end of the call, with a smile, I could feel a drop of tear welling up in my eyes.

Love has no definition. Love has no boundary. Love has no reason. But beyond all these statements, there are situations when love has a definition and reason. When someone expresses such a love, for a few moments you feel proud of yourself. You beam with a satisfaction of having done something great. Even the smallest of a timely help from you can bring you enormous blessing and love.

If you don’t agree with me, try it yourself. Tell me if you don’t feel good about yourself.

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