It is not Love

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She was crying uncontrollably. Sitting on the sofa her whole body was shivering in fear and pain. She was unable to talk in between her sobs. After crying for few minutes she started to calm down. Slowly her deep sobbing turned into a low hissing sound. Like a train coming to halt, she stopped and looked at me sitting across with red, swollen eyes. 

I could make out patches of dried blood in the corner of her swollen lips. There was big red patch showing signs of a blood clot at the corner of her right eye. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail, but her short strands of hair falling on her face with red wet eyes made her look much worse. While she was settling down to lay her head on the cushion of the sofa, I noticed her rubbing her left shoulder with a twitch in her already pathetic face. I could see that she was unable to lift her left hand without pain.

I got up from where I was sitting and moved towards her. Sitting beside her I took her hands off from her shoulder and pulled down the t-shirt she was wearing down her left shoulder to look at the source of her discomfort and pain. I was shocked to see that her shoulder was all swollen and it looked like she was assaulted with something heavy. I looked at her with a questioning look. She turned away from me and started to cry again. I put my hands around her shoulder and held her close to me. We sat there like that with her sob disturbing the silence around us. After some time, I helped her lift herself from the sofa. We walked towards the guest bedroom. While she waited sitting in a chair, I made the bed. She then sat on the bed when I went to get her some water. When I came back I saw that she was checking her phone. Seeing me, she put her phone down and looked at me pitifully. Without saying anything I gave her the bottle of water and walked out the room. 

As I walked towards my room where my husband was sleeping deeply, I could not stop the tears that rolled down my cheeks. I went into my room and laid beside my husband hugging him tightly. 

Hearing the alarm go off I woke up. On my way to the kitchen, I peeped into her room to see if she was sleeping but found her awake with her mobile in her hand. In a fit of rage, I dashed into her room and snatched the mobile from her hand. She was startled. I scrolled through reading the messages on the screen. 

Rajesh: I am sorry... Call me...

Rajesh: I am sorry dear... pls call me.

Rajesh: don't punish me like this... Pls attend my call...

Rajesh: I am tensed, pls attend my call.... u r killing me.

Rajesh: if u don't attend my call now u will never see me alive...

Sandhya: what do u want? why don't u just leave me alone?

Rajesh: I am sorry darling. I shud not have hurt u so much... u know how much I love u... u do stuff that anger me and u know I cannot control myself.... but it is because I love u that I come back to u asking sorry always.

Sandhya: It hurts... I could not sleep the whole night... I cried the whole night. I did not know what to do... U know I love u too. But u cannot hurt me like this.

Rajesh: I am really sorry dear. But I can't stay away from u... U know it is us always... I know where u r now... Coming to pick u up.. I will make it up to u today. Promise me whatever I do you will stay with me... that you will never leave me... I love u so much... u know I cannot live without u...

Sandhya: U shd promise me that you will never ever hurt me again... No matter what happens. Also promise me from the heart, because, every time you promise but never keep up your promise...

Rajesh: I promise from my heart that I will never hurt u again...

Sandhya: mmmm

I looked at her with disbelief. 

"Do you believe he will keep up his promise this time?" I asked her.

"I hope so. He sounds so earnest. And he has been pinging me for so long without sleeping. That should mean something right?" she wanted my reassurance for something which she knew was not right. But what could I say? 

"This is not the first time he is doing this. He said the same during the previous two instances. Why don't you just stay away from him for some time? He has some serious problem. No normal man can beat you up so badly. Let him at least realise his mistake. " I said trying to put some sense into her mind. But she would not listen. 

"I understand your concern, but let me try this one last time. Maybe he is really sorry. I don't want him to suffer because of me. He is so dependent on me. If I leave him he will be devastated", she said pleadingly. 

"What if he hurts you again?" I asked. 

"I will tell him clearly that if he hurts me again I will leave him. I will convey the message strongly. If he wants me, then he has to keep up his promise this time."  said she with a stubborn face. I knew there was no point in trying to argue with her. So, I decided to leave her to her wish. 

The door bell rang. I knew it was him. I opened the door. There he was standing with a tired smile. He looked charming even in his wrinkled dress. There was a single rose in his hand. He peeped across me searchingly. I looked at him furiously but he stood there like an innocent boy. I excused myself from the room so that they could talk. From the kitchen, I could hear his voice murmuring. It was not clear, but I knew he was doing his best to convince her. After few moments she called out to me. They were leaving. I said nothing, but silently let them leave my house. 

Another night, another call on my mobile and I knew this vicious cycle would repeat.

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To A Mother - For What She is Not

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Mother - Personification of Love, Sacrifice and Selflessness. Wow! how wonderful it is to see these words on a face book post that a mother is never going to see or on a twitter message that she will never even learn to open.  I fail to understand why people do this on face book or twitter.

I did not call my mother to wish her on this day neither did i post a message on social media to prove my love for her to the world. Even if i don't call out to her on this day she knows that i love her. I don't care if anyone knows about the kind of relationship i share with her.

I want to dedicate this post to her and to so many like her, for what she is not today, because she is a human being first, a woman next and lastly a mother. How can i forget that?

She is not a singer she wanted to be - because of my strict grandfather  and the orthodox culture of the family then.
She is not a dancer she wanted to be - because of again my strict grandfather and the orthodox culture of the family then.
She is not a degree holder that she wanted to be - because of she had to finish the kitchen cores even when she was 15 years old and educating women was the last priority in the family.
She is not a teacher she wanted to be - Because my father wanted her to stay at home after marriage.
She is not a professional tailor that she wanted to be - Because she got busy with being a good homemaker soon after marriage.
She is not a financially independent woman that she wanted to be - Because she always cared for our financial independence and never gave time for herself.
She is not someone who has gone beyond South India - Though my father was working abroad she chose to stay here with us in order to not disturb our education.
She is not someone who lived in the physical security of her husband - She decided to stay away from his security so that we would have a secure future.

She is not so many things she wanted to be. She could not do so many things she wanted to do. I respect her for all that she is not.

This is the case with crores of women in this country. They are not so many things they wanted to be. But who bothers about what she wanted to be when she is a mother - the ultimate achievement. We make motherhood her greatest achievement when she could have achieved so much more along with being a mother. This is a socially accepted justification that we impose on her to hide the injustice meted upon her gender.

Motherhood is great. But when that becomes the identity of a woman rather than it being a choice, it becomes a emotional burden. I think we should learn to look at her as a human being first and then a mother. Because, the moment she becomes a mother all her other achievements take a back seat and she is morally and emotionally forced to prove her motherliness through sacrifices and selflessness. 

Let's not make motherhood a burden rather let us make it a enjoyable experience for every woman. I wish every mother gets to celebrate her achievements without guilt.

Happy Mother's day.

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Selective Outrage - An irresponsible Trend

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In 2012 it was the most terrifying and heart-wrenching Nirbhaya incident and in 2016 it is a similar incident in Perumbavur, Kerala. It was Jyothi then and it is Jisha now. I shuddered when I read the details of Nirbhaya and I felt the same fear when I read about the Perumbavur case. It is not within the capability of any normal human being to even imagine the kind of cruelty that these two girls have suffered . The whole nation was on fire in 2012 and it is again on fire now in 2016. And it is right to be on fire.

When these incidents were brutal enough to shake the human within us, how many of us have thought or even heard about much much more such rape cases that have been reported in media between 2012 and 2016? I am very particular about the period between 2012 and now because 2012 was when the "common man" of the nation woke up from their self-induced peaceful sleep to the horrible reality of sexual assault and fatal cruelty meted upon a woman in this country. Do we know how many cases of rape are being reported every day? Just to give a fair idea, I am listing few cases that have garnered some media attention after the Nirbhaya case.

"In August 2013, a 22-year-old photojournalist, who was interning with an English-language magazine in Mumbai, was gang-raped by five persons, including a juvenile, when she had gone to the deserted Shakti Mills compound, near Mahalaxmi in South Mumbai, with a male colleague on an assignment.

In May 2014 two girls aged 14 and 16 were allegedly gang-raped in the northern state of Uttar Pradesh and girls were then hanged from a tree.

On 14 March 2015, a 71-year-old nun was allegedly gang-raped in Ranaghat, West Bengal by intruders at Convent of Jesus and Mary. "

- Source of information Wikipedia

In its annual report, the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) said that the number of rape cases in the country has risen by 9 percent to 33,707 in 2014 - Source of Information in.reuters.com
These records are available on the NCRB website and is open for all of the public to see.

Aren't these data enough proof to show that 'Rape' is not a rare issue but a recurring and continuing crime in our country. If for the sake of argument I say that I am ignorant about the statistics, aren't we supposed to react with the same fervor and emotions when any rape case is being reported in the media? Some cases do get media attentions either due to the rareness of the case itself or because of the courage showed by the victim to bring it to the media attention. So many cases go unreported in our country.

But why was no social media campaign for these cases? Why was there not so much of hue and cry over these cases? Why was there no public demonstration in support of these victims or any change.org campaign for these people? I guess these people should have had a horrible death so that they would have got so much of public support. So does that mean that the victim should die a horrible death for us to react with so much of fervor? Doesn't a rape victim who did not die deserve this kind of support? Had Nirbhaya not been so cruelly attacked and left to die, had not Jisha been torn to pieces, would we have given them this much of our time and emotions? Isn't rape a cruel enough act for us to react?

Does rape not kill a person emotionally? Does rape not put the victim through serious physical and emotional pain? The continuous scrutiny by the society, ostracism that the victim and the family members suffer is beyond many of our understanding. I feel that many times we look at Rape as a lesser crime than murder. But in reality in a society like ours where chastity is the base on which a woman is judged, where morality of a woman is considered more important than her real talents and her achievements, where a woman is pushed to commit suicide because of the shame of having been raped, where a rape accused roams around freely but a victim has to live in fear, rape should be considered a crime worse  than murder.

I am not trying to belittle the outpouring emotions of the public in any case but if only we could react with the same emotional outrage for each rape incident in this country, if only we could influence our judicial system to bring the accused of every rape case under the law and get the deserved punishment, if only our emotional outbursts in the social media could target each and every rape case in this country, If only we as a society could support each Rape survivor morally to fight back for justice and stop making them a victim, I feel we will be taking a step ahead towards building a much safer place for our women where they can really live without fear. Every woman deserves it.

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Catch them young

 

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Few years back one of my friend told me about a great book she had read - "The Secret" by Ronda Byrne. I started to read it but somehow could not complete. Recently i have been hearing about "Mindful living". I am trying to understand the advantages of this too. There are so many other theories and practices that i have heard about from various friends and family members. Every time it's about happy living or living a rich life (not in terms of money but in terms of experiences) or living a peaceful life or how to live a life of your dreams and on and on. All of these have been from mostly people of my age or elder than me. I have never heard children speak about these things.

But why is it that when we are old enough to handle our own lives we suddenly think about it. I have wondered, why is this not taught to us as part of our growing years either by schools or by our parents? How many of us who read these stuffs actually motivate our own children to read these and practice from a very young age? I have been thinking about this for quite some time.

I may be wrong when i say that most of us don't want our kids to feel these experiences in their childhood. There might be few of us who actually practice it and also leads their children into this form of mindful, peaceful, rich living. But frankly most of us don't do it. We read it, feel good about it for some time and forget it. Some of us read these stuffs, try to follow it for sometime and give up in between as we get busy with our routine life. There are actually very few who practice it and even fewer who impart it to children. If these theories and practices are so helpful then why not teach it?

Numerous research activities have proven that anything that is instilled from a young age becomes a habit rather a life style. We put our children to music classes, sports, painting classes and even make them learn languages at a young age as they are considered very important for the development of the child. We try to teach them good manners, etiquette, nice behavior and so on, since they are required for a person to be considered part of civilized society and community. But do we give them the secret of leading a enriched, peaceful, pleasant, positive life? If we make this also a part of their routine - if not at school at least at home, won't they grow up to be a much better human being? We concentrate so much on pushing them into a rat race for money and power that we forget the importance of teaching them all the rich secrets of living a really enriched life.

It might be difficult for young minds to grab the depth of such life skills. But when it becomes a part of their daily life, they will evolve into a human being with deep sense of themselves and humanity in general. They will start valuing themselves better and also be a better human being and be able to lead a much happier life. Don't we want our kids to be really happy than live a life of competition and frustration. If we can sow the seeds of goodness and mindfulness in them at a very young age how nice it would be.

May be some of us should actually try this and share the difference that we see in our kids.

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The hanging bent backbone

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Tired and timid

I look up to the sky

Eyes burn and i am blinded.

The scorching heat hurts my dark skin.

My parched lips and my dry tongue

yearning for a full gulp of water 

to quench my thirst without guilt 

that i have consumed what i don’t deserve 

My hands rough and rugged, rubbing 

my shoulders once so strong 

now hanging loose with the burden 

of my head which once i held high. 

My feet bare and cracked 

has run around to hold things together. 

walked past the great past of prosperity 

now a doomed present, begging for a still existing tomorrow 

The source of my past prosperity 

laying brown and arid. 

A green bed it used to be once 

now a hot bed of pain, hunger and shame. 

I see my wife who was once beautiful 

in her red saree and red bindi. 

Even more beautiful today in her same red saree 

torn in the hardship, her bindi seems bigger than her hollowed cheeks. 

My kids, three reasons for my smile 

for whom i dreamt of a happy tomorrow 

sit and play with a longing look of hunger 

sometimes crying, mostly sleeping tired. 

A deep cry tries to escape my throat. 

I hold it back with a brave face. 

I still long for a better tomorrow 

for i love my wife and kids more than myself. 

They can cheat me with fake promises. 

They can humiliate me with bread crumbs of revival. 

I walk towards the ray of hope for few days of respite to my loved ones. 

I just hope the loop will not give away shattering my last dream.

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Deal with the D-Devil

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Divorce - A word that most married people dread hearing, a wish some pray to come true in their life, much resented but yet heard frequently in today’s world, that has the tendency to drive many people into a panic mode, that has pushed umpteen men and women into depression and even made them jump into suicide and a word that means freedom to some but doom to many.

The reasons to reach such a decision are many. Each unique and personal to every couple. But the trauma that follows and haunts people after a divorce is almost similar in all cases. When we get used to a person over a period of time, when we get used to a routine over a period of time, we reach a point where missing any of them, no matter how bad it was, creates a vacuum. People generally derive a sense of purpose while trying to work out a bad relationship or trying to find reasons to believe that everything will be all right or while waiting it out for things to get settled or even in the pain that they undergo in a abusive relationship. I believe we human beings are addicted to routine. A routine, happy or painful, gives a meaning to life. This is what creates problem after a divorce. After a divorce that monotonous chain is broken, and people lose the sense of purpose. Most of us don’t know how to cope with the situation. We feel that there is so much of time and nothing to do. This sends us into a mode of self doubt and self pity.

When we turn to friends we find that they are busy with their lives and it is only us that don’t have anything meaningful to do. When we try to take resort in the social media, it makes us more gloomy as face book is full of happy faces with every friend and family member celebrating either a birthday or on a holiday or loudly shouting out a love you message to wife or husband in public, making us feel desperate. All these makes us feel lonely and we start hating ourselves for taking such a decision. It takes our mind to a turn where we start suspecting our choice. For many working people divorce is a phase where they mess up their professional life. The tension, the sleepless nights, the self humiliation and self pity makes us loose interest and concentration on work. All these doubts, confusions and frustration leads to a path of self loath and complete loss of self respect.

I am not here to give a solution to come out of this phase. Because there is no one magic formula which can bring anyone out of this wretched situation. Through my own experience i have come to an understanding that each of us needs our own time to come out of this. But giving up is definitely not the most attractive option, though it is the easiest. It may feel great to keep pondering on what went wrong and why this is happening ‘only to me’. It also feels great to replay some of the great moments spent together and try to relish every bit of it as if hanging to the last piece of rope that is stopping you from falling into a dark sea of reality.

I say, leave the rope and plunge into the reality. Deal with it. It’s the fact.

The quicker we accept the fact about divorce the quicker we can get over it. Always remember that divorce was the only option. Nothing could have solved the situation and made life better. It was decision well taken. Next is to stay away from social media. Travel - travel as much as possible, either alone or with friends or with a group of unknown people. Meet new people, make new friends. Read - read lot of books, both fiction and non-fiction, politics, history and biographies. Plan every day such that the day is packed. If there is enough time left, identify a hobby or a hidden talent and start learning something new - Either a new language or some kind of Art or a new sport. A packed busy day, leaves no time to brood.

Finding a job in case of people without job is also a great way out. Even a small job with a small pay goes a long way in dealing the situation.

These are some common things to deal with the monster called divorce. My ideas may not suit another personality. There are few people who find solace in their job. But it is important to remember that job is not the world. The world is much bigger than a cubicle or even the four walls of an office. I believe regaining lost confidence , self respect and feeling good about oneself is the most important thing to move ahead in life. There is nothing wrong in discussing things with good friends or supportive family members or even getting professional help from a psychologist or a therapist.

One point to remember always is that there are many many people out there who have gone through something similar and have come out of it and succeeded in life. “We are not alone in this”. There are people who can support and help. Life is much larger than one Divorce.

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Hallowed by deed - Part 5

My topics under "Hallowed by deed" is increasing in count. I am in fact feeling good that i am getting to write about many good things and good people around. Especially with so much of negative things happening around, such small incidents bring a ray of hope. Some people have helped me in situations which could otherwise have turned into a disaster. Some brought a smile on my face. Some made me forget my worries at least for few moments.

This incident happened during the fateful flood in Chennai. Fate sometimes does play around with your mind making you wonder if in deed you have done something wrong. My marriage was to happen on December 6th. I was supposed to leave to Kerala on December 3rd. My marriage saree blouses were with the tailor and i was supposed to take delivery of them on November 30th. Unfortunately i could not pick my blouses on 30th and decided it take it on the next day.

The next day - December 1st i woke to the sound of steady rain. Rain is supposed to make you cool and lazy. But it actually made my adrenaline rush up. There were predictions of rain over the week end which as usual had not come true and we had all started to relax thinking that we had escaped the heavy showers. We were not ready for another onslaught as the attack of rains few days back had left the city in a frenzy of knee deep water and inundation in few parts. But seeing it rain again on that morning a slight tension started building up in my heart.

I called up my office and we decided to work from home. It was impossible to move out in the rain which by then had started pouring heavily. Sometimes you wonder why you make some blunders for which there are no explanations. I found that i had left the charger of my Laptop in my office the previous day. I had to wind up some work before going on my marital holidays. Anyways i could not go and get it. So i worked till my laptop took its last breath. 1st of December passed with me and mom sitting in front of the TV following and consuming as much news as possible about the situation outside. There was constant discussion among neighbors on what would happen. The flooding had started. By the end of the day most of my friends had lost power connection at their place. We were getting a feeling that the trains would get suspended and hence booked flight tickets for the next day evening. We went to sleep with a feeling that things were going from bad to worse. But we had to wait it out.

2nd of December, we rose to a darker day. We lost power. Luckily both our mobiles were fully charged. We kept only one mobile on, in order to save power. News started coming in about trains getting suspended as the tracks were inundated. Water started seeping into out street. We started panicking. I waded through knee deep water to buy some groceries as we were not sure about the travel. By after noon news came in that all flights were suspended. I lost hope and decided to give up, even the tension. My fiance and would-be in laws called me to console me and we almost reached a point where we thought that the marriage would have to be postponed. They helped me approach this whole incident with the least emotional stress. The met department had forecast heavy rains till 6 Dec and airport would stay closed till then. In the night my fiance called me up to tell me that i should be expecting a call from his brother in law's friend who might be able to help us.

At night 11 o clock i got a call from my Samaritan - the hero of this article - Sathish. He assured me that he would arrange some mode of transport via road and get us out of Chennai next day as the Bangalore highway was open. From Bangalore we could take a bus/train/flight to Kerala. He asked us to be ready by early morning and to wait for his call. On the morning of 3rd December we were packed and ready by 6 o clock. Our mobiles were loosing charge and our neighbors were kind enough to let us use their cautiously used inverter saved power for charging. When i tried calling him, his phone was switched off. I became desperate. At around 7 o clock we happened to discuss the scenario with our neighbor who on hearing that the Bangalore highway was open, talked to a travel agency to arrange a taxi for us. By then Sathish called me and said that he could not arrange a taxi. When i told him that an agency had agreed to take us to Bangalore he was much elated than us. But he did not want us - 2 ladies to travel on our own. Hence he said he would accompany us till Bangalore and come back in the same taxi. This was a surprise to us since we had not expected him to be so nice. We felt relieved that we wouldn't have to take this uncertain drive alone.

And thus we started our journey to Bangalore at 9 AM on the 3rd of December. Sathish joined us on the way. He had taken a great risk in driving his bike from home till a point where he could not drive any further in water, parked it in front of a shut store and walked around 1 kilometer in water and then piggybacked on a strangers bike to reach his place of pickup. Our journey was filled with tension and fake news of a dam breach in Krishnagiri. Once we crossed Krishnagiri we started to relax as we knew situation was cool from that point on. I slept deeply after Krishnagiri forgetting all my tension and compensating my sleepless nights. We reached our destination at 3 o clock. Dropping us off, Sathish did not even take a minute's break as he wanted to be back in Chennai by midnight. He had plans to join a group of volunteers the next day for undertaking relief activities in the affected areas.

What could i say about this Good Samaritan - i was emotionally overwhelmed to have met a person like him. Why are some people so good? why are some so helpful? My neighbors helped me a lot, whom i could not thank enough. Best of all, this situation  helped shatter my tensions about life after marriage, as i had seen how pragmatic and supportive my to be husband and in-laws are.

I had forgotten the fact that i did not have a blouse to wear along with my marriage Saree. Well, buying a ready made blouse or rather wearing anything for the marriage was not even a matter of worry compared to postponing a marriage.

A marriage is a great affair in itself but mine has a backstory worth being shared.

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Forgotten reality

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What is the use of a faith or a religion or a community which looks down at another? What is a human who looks down at another? What is humanity which turns away from the pain of another?

When faith overpowers rational thinking, when religion overpowers humanity and when power overpowers justice even the struggles of a common man to survive becomes punitive and the voice of equality becomes a crime.

When each and everyone understands the reality that earth cannot survive long on chants and blood but only on sustainable earthly principles and practices, life will be a realistic happy journey.

Happiness does not come from the ability to buy, overpower,punish,silence or threaten. It only comes from the realization that earth and its richness are perishable - every one of them, and conserving it and living in harmony will keep this earth alive.

Those who are not bothered about the future of this earth and its lives better don’t produce a family so that they don’t suffer the wrath of your ignorance, impudence, and arrogance. Because faith will not help them survive the slow death that ailing nature will bring upon them.

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Destructive apathy

When someone helps us, we feel thankful and also obliged to do something in return sometime. This is taught to us and it helps in fostering good relationships. But does this rule apply only to human relationships? This also applies to our relationship with nature isn’t it?

Yesterday when i was traveling to office, i saw a lady. A decently dressed female in her early thirties. I was waiting in the railway station for my train to come. She came by and sat next to me on the bench i was sitting. Immediately after sitting she took out a small paper wrap from her bag. It contained those boiled peanuts with their shells on. As i watched she started pealing off the shell and eating those peanuts. And then shamelessly kept on dropping off the shells on the platform where she was sitting. I felt very irritated to see her do this. She was least bothered that she was actually treating the platform like a dustbin. I looked at her in disgust. She returned my looks with a blank stare. I felt like getting up and shaking her wildly and asking her how she could be so careless and stupid about her surroundings. But i did not do anything.

My train arrived. I boarded it and found a seat for myself. A lady, almost of my age was sitting opposite to me. I guessed she should be working in one of the IT companies which adorns the route to my destination. After the train left the station, she took out a plastic cover from her bag. There was boiled corn stick in it. She started eating the corn. I did not pay attention and continued chatting with my friend on my phone. Once she finished eating,she just threw that plastic cover along with the corn stick on to the railway track. I was irritated for the second time in the same day. I seriously was very angry and actually looked at her with frowning face. She looked back at me with a questioning look and turned her face away from me.

I know, these are scenes that we see on a day to day basis. People throwing garbage bags full of garbage on the road. Men peeing on the road side. People spitting on the road as others walk by them. People throwing plastic covers on to the road just like into a dustbin. House holds and factories emptying their industrial and house hold waste and filth into river. Big vehicles polluting the air with smoke and dangerous gases. Big corporations cutting off forests in mass in the name of development. From individuals to corporate everyone abusing nature and its resources in every way possible.

These two small incidents made me think about all this. How can people be so ignorant about all this? Then i realized, lack of awareness is one part of the issue. This could be solved to an extent through proper education and extensive campaigns. But the other part of the problem is terrifying. “Complacence”. When educated people do these activities without any second thought or even a pinch of regret, how can we not worry about the impending disaster on this earth. The very thought ranging from “why should i do it” , “This is not my job to worry” to “Nothing will happen to this earth because i drop one plastic cover on the road”. I have even heard people say, “Technology is making leaps and bounds. Scientists will find another planet to live if this one becomes unlivable. Till i live nothing major will happen to this earth”. But we forget, nature is beyond any science. There is only so much science and technology can do, but there is so much as human beings we can do. Moreover even if we find another suitable planet to migrate to and technology grows to facilitate the migration process, i don’t believe that any common man will be ever be able to afford the migration cost.

Do we like to live among filth? When we complain so much about the filthy environment around us, we conveniently forget the fact that we are the ones who created this kind of an environment. If not directly, through our silence.

This earth has been giving us resources for so many years. Let it be water, soil and air. These are things we cannot do without. We cannot live without any of this. But these are all perishable resources. When we abuse them by misusing or over using them remember, once they perish we can never get it back. We cannot manufacture water or soil or air. Let us give some respect to the mother earth by making sensible use of her resources. When we take so much from her at-least give her back a little bit of consideration for the sake of mankind.

She may not yell at us for mistreating her. But she will definitely give up one day and that day our great great grandchildren may have nowhere to go and will fight and die over a drop of water or a bite of food. If we don’t care for our future generation, then why do we reproduce???

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Nostalgia - Part 4

Once you are in the flow, you start enjoying it and want more of it.

This is true in many situations. Sometimes there is hesitation to do things - even those that we enjoy the most. At such a phase we start doubting our own beliefs and abilities. It has happened to me on many occasion. I have realized long back that I enjoy writing. Nothing in particular. About anything that actually inspires me to write. But there are certain times when I don't feel like writing anything. When my friends - who know that I write, ask me why I haven't written anything for some time, I tell them that I don't feel like. In those days, i doubt whether I can really write. Whether I really have it me.

But it's just a phase. That too, I have realized. My wrong English is to be pardoned, though. One spark and I start again. And once I start it's like the waves in the ocean - no recess. Thoughts that have been logged in for a long time start flowing and fingers keep typing.

Words actually give meaning to emotions. That's why writers are sensitive. Because if you can't feel a thing, how can you write about it? A small piece from my old diary - I think this was a result of having tried to put my feelings into words.

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Life seems to be a thorny bush 

I feel like I am struggling in heavy push 

Many things in my mind to say 

But I am so helpless today 

My head is full of helpless thoughts 

But no one about to soothe my heart. 

I keep praying to god - Please give me strength 

And I keep saying to my uneasy heart - 

Do Good 

Think good 

Hope for good. 

Life has a good purpose, 

So go deep into life and don't float on the surface.

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